Why this blog? Why Me? Why now?

Recently, after a series of particularly stressful events, I had a day that was full of tiny moments that all seemed designed to push me towards God. As I've never been a regular churchgoer and certainly not a believer, this came as a bit of a shock. I have never felt that I was missing anything, but it was too strong of a feeling to ignore. It is possible that in a month or week or day that the compulsion will pass. It is also possible that it will not.

I started this blog to document the process. I am starting from scratch, more or less, so please forgive me if I get some fact about your church or your faith wrong. I'm a work in progress.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Thoughts on Bible study, politics, Facebook

Bible study

I haven't posted in a week (I find it harder to write a post for this blog with my constant interruptions), but I am still reading my Bible(s) and thinking about God and going to church. I've been faithfully reading my Lenten Companion book every day.  I'm slowly starting to think about why one would believe in God, instead of just how one would participate in an organized religion. It's startling to me how different God is from what I imagined and what I thought I knew. Even as recently as a couple of months ago I could not have imagined going to church because you wanted to go to church. I actually had the distinct thought, that I could never imagine being upset about missing church. That it would be impossible to enjoy church.  Though I also think I'd enjoy it a lot more if I were there alone. (Note: Fill in "it" in that sentence with a multitude of activities- grocery shopping, the library, loading the dishwasher, etc.)

I am constantly stumbling across a pretty verse on Pinterest and pulling out a Bible to read the surrounding verses. It usually turns out that I like the verse much more as a stand alone verse, than taken in context. I struggle a bit with this, because it seems as though people who quote the verses maybe aren't reading them in context. Like the telephone game, does the verse become distorted over time? Does it matter?  Is it just as valid to quote out of context?  (I don't expect an answer to this, I just like to think about it. Feel free to offer your opinion but I'm not looking for it to be solved or anything.)

I'm also noticing a lot more religious intolerance in this political season. I'm not going to talk politics here. At all. I am not anywhere near entering that fight, and I suspect that I'd be even more conflicted and confused if I let it color my thoughts about God right now. I will say that the intolerance goes both ways, with both sides believing in absolutes with absolutely no room for  open discussion. Both sides are guilty of writing off the other side without considering the person behind the statement. It makes me sad and I tend to avoid Facebook more. I feel embarrassed to declare myself for either side of the fight, so I don't. This is partly because I am not sure exactly where I stand, but also because I don't want to be part of the ugliness.

I am still working on my spiritual reading list and I've asked my Favorite Catholic to bring me a handful of books when she visits in two weeks. I am not a book monogamist though, and my shelves are full of other interesting things as well. Most days I dip in and out of 2 or 3 different books, as the mood strikes.

Annnd, no good way to close this post up, but that's where I am today.

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