Thoughts on Girl Meets God by Lauren F. Winner

I continue to read and study about Christianity, as well as attend church weekly, and this week's reading saw me finish Girl Meets God: On the Path to a Spiritual Life by Lauren F. Winner. I've actually read this one before, shortly after it was first published. I wanted to read it again from the perspective of someone who was trying to decide her own beliefs about Jesus and Christianity.

Here's what the back of the book says:

The child of a Jewish father and a lapsed Southern Baptist mother, Lauren F. Winner chose to become an Orthodox Jew. But even as she was observing Sabbath rituals and studying Jewish law, Lauren was increasingly drawn to Christianity. Courageously leaving what she loved, she eventually converted. In Girl Meets God, this appealing woman takes us through a year in her Christian life as she attempts to reconcile both sides of her religious identity.

Ok, so this time I really did seem to read things a bit more personally than I did the first time. The first time I read it I enjoyed it, and gave it five stars on Goodreads, but it really didn't make me think about the religious aspects, beyond the intellectual. This time around I marked a few passages to think about further.

To start, on page 99, Winner is talking about skipping shul more to attend church, and in general being less Jewish. She says, "I doubt any of them knew I was filling my shul time with church, but they knew I was filling it with something, and none of them every said anything. None of them ever said, Hey, just checking up on you. Is something up? Is something the matter? Or, harsher, Lauren, you know, shul. You really need to be there. I was part of their religious body; saying those things was their job."

She explicitly says that it was the other members of her Jewish family's job to keep her going to church each week. That they share some of the blame (or credit, depending on your viewpoint) for her converting. Later in the book she's talking about her baptism, which happened during her years living in England, and lamenting that she will never again be a part of that specific church family- the ones who stood and promised to help her have strength in her faith. It is an interesting idea to me that other people have a responsibility to keep you on the straight and narrow, once you are there. It is a different thing from preaching to the heathens, and it is interesting.

A few chapters later, on page 190, a friend asks why she became a Christian. Winner considers telling her all the signs and all the reasons (which readers have already heard) but settles on, "I became a Christian because God gave me the grace to do it." She then tells a story about Cyril, Bishop of Jerusalem, who said people go to church for all kinds of reasons, but the real reason is that God sent them there. This is exactly how I came to feel about all the signs that pointed me to church a few months ago. God, if he exists, sent the signs that sent me to church. I realize this is not a new concept, that I am hardly the first person to realize that God may have sent me running to Him, but as someone who did not believe in signs, this is a pivotal moment for me.

One of the things that has been on my list to read more about is the Holy Spirit.  Winner spends a couple pages on that topic in the chapter on Pentecost.  The Holy Spirit is Elijah's still small voice.  The Holy Spirit (apparently) guides us in daily life, on what to do and what to say and how to live as a Christian. "Maybe that is what the Holy Spirit does. Maybe He silences all the voices in our head that keep us from hearing God." (p. 233) I take this to mean that the Holy Spirit is what is  urging me on in this exploration and study I've embarked on, and I've asked my friend G to find me reading material and verses to support this theory.

The last bit of the book that I marked is about sin (around pages 273-275.) I have never really stopped to think about sin beyond the ten commandments, and the idea that a person is inherently sinful, without having done anything wrong, is nearly new to me.  (I vaguely remember reading about this before, perhaps on my first reading of this book.) I am not quite sure how I feel about asking for forgiveness for my naturally sinful state, or about the idea that my toddler needs forgiveness. I like the concept of grace, but have never gotten the full implication of it before now. I suspect that this will be something that I stumble over again some day, and I'm not quite ready to tackle it just yet.

In general, Girl Meets God was still fascinating to me and I'm glad I choose to reread it. Winner is a lover of books and words and study and I could see myself in her (though I will never be the scholar she is.) I think she did a great job capturing what Christianity is like for her, what she gained and what she lost and why she did it. After I read this the first time, I checked out her other two books, Mudhouse Sabbath: An Invitation to a Life of Spiritual Discipline (Pocket Classics) and Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity. I recall that I enjoyed the former more than the latter, but I don't really remember much of either. I see that she has recently published a new book, Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis, that I will add to my list and begin pestering my library to get.

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller

The first book on my self-imposed, read-about-Christianity plan was Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality by Donald Miller.  As the title would suggest, this is more a book of loosely connected essays on Miller's thoughts on Christianity and spirituality. My good friend G suggested that I read this one, and as she is one of my two greatest Christian inspirations, I took her advice.  It was a great book to start with, as it wasn't too serious but still managed to provide some food for thought.

It is hard to pin Miller down to any one organized religion, and the church he belongs to seems to be a homemade,  not particularly organized and full of passion,  and not held accountable by a larger organization, type church. I find this both inspiring (they are so passionate about Christ that they made their own successful church!), and a bit off-putting (passion is good and all, but is this a freaky cult?) There is no doubt that Miller believes in the existance of God and Christ. He seems to have been born with an innate need for a spiritual presence. He does question the details, and openly admits to seeing the complexity and the irrationality of some of the facets of Christianity. Miller ultimately comes through on the side of belief every time but it's really encouraging to see such a steadfast believer voice some of the same problems I have as a newcomer.


The book itself could have really benefitted from an editor. No one uses the other persons name in a face to face conversation as often as they do with Miller. No one.  Once, maybe twice, but not every sentence.  I understand that it lends urgency to a passage, but it really took my attention away from what was really being said. There were also a few chapters that seemed to only barely tie in to Christianity as well. Overall, a good first choice, but as with any books, annoying in places.


I'm not sure what book is up next, I did update my Spiritual Reading List this week with additonal titles already on my shelves.

Quotes worth taking note of:
p 13. I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. The is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God.

p. 33. (re: the idea that you have to make a decision to follow or reject Christ.)  And, perhaps, I was judging the idea, not by it's merit, but by the fashionable or unfashionable delivery of the message.

p. 51. The goofy thing about Christian faith is that you believe it and don't believe it at the same time. It isn't unlike having an imaginary friend. I believe in Jesus, I believe He is the Son of God, but every time I sit down to explain this to somebody I feel like a palm reader, like somebody who works at a circu or a kid who is always making things up or somebody at a Star Trek convention who hasn't figured out the show isn't real.

p. 87.  Every year or so I start pondering at how silly the whole God thing is. Every Christian knows they will deal with doubt. And they will. But when it comes it seems so very real and frightening, as if your entire universe is going to fall apart. I remember a specific time when I was laying there in bed thinking about the absurdity of my belief. God. Who believes in God? It all seems so very silly.

p.104. And that's when I realized that believing in God is as much like falling in love as it is like making a decision. Love is both something that happens to you and something you decide upon. [Lisa's Note: I keep coming back to this one in particular.]

p. 197. "When we do what God wants us to do, we are blessed, we are spiritually healthy. God wants us to give a portion of our money to His work on earth. By setting aside money from every check, you are trusting God to provide. He wants you to get over that fear- that fear of trusting Him. It is a scary place, but that is where you have to go as a follower of Christ. There are times when my wife and I don't have enough money to cover bills, but we know the first bill, the first payment we make, is to the church. That is most important. If the other bills get neglected, then we need to watch how we are spending money. And there are times when we have found ourselves in that situation. But it works out. We are getting good at trusting God, and we are getting good at managing money."

p. 205. Too much of our time is spent trying to chart God on a grid, and too little is spent allowing our hearts to feel awe. By reducing Christian spirituality to formula, we deprive our hearts of wonder.

When I think about the complexity of the Trinity, the three-in-one God, my mind cannot understand, but my heart feels wonder in abundant satisfaction. It is as though my heart, in the midst of its euphoria, is saying to my mind, There are things you cannot understand, and you must learn to live with this. Not only must you learn to live with this, you must learn to enjoy this.

p. 229. "Your value has to come from God. And God wants you to receive His love and to love yourself too."

p. 232. And so I have come to understand that strength, inner strength, comes from receiving love as much as it comes from giving it. I think apart from the idea that I am a sinner and God forgives me, this is the greatest lesson I have ever learned. When you get it, it changes you. ...  God's love will never change us if we don't accept it.

When in Doubt, Read.

As with anything else in my life, one way I'll be exploring faith is through reading. I've read quite a few faith based memoirs already, but would like to add more  potential titles to my list. I'm going to collect them all in one place, in case anyone else is looking for a Suggested Reading List for those seeking God. In no particular order:

• Because Nothing Looks Like God by Lawrence Kushner. This one is a children's book.
• Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality by Donald Miller. Highly recommended by G.
• When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner. Recommended by <b>
• The Case for Christ: A Journalist's Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus by Lee Strobel. Recommended by G.
• Catholicism For Dummies I already own this one.
• What Catholics Really Believe--Setting the Record Straight: 52 Answers to Common Misconceptions about the Catholic Faithby Karl Keating. I also own this one.
• Mere Christianityby C.S. Lewis. Recommended years ago by 3M. I own a copy of this as well.
• The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Recommended by Dwija and Cari.
• The Fulfillment of All Desire by Ralph Martin. Recommended by Cari."excellent, excellent, excellent. It was actually assigned to me as a penance once, and it was the best penance I ever got."
• Everyone's Way of the Cross by Clarence Enzler. Recommended by Cari."Every time I read this, I am crushed. I marvel at how a 2000 year religion can still be relevant not only to life today in the abstract, but to MY life in particular."
• An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith by Barbara Brown Taylor. Recommended in this blog post. (The cover alone makes me want to read it, seriously, click through. So pretty.)
• The Heart of Christianity: Rediscovering a Life of Faith by Marcus Borg. Same blog as above.
• Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Lifeby CS Lewis. Recommended by jen.
• The Complete Idiot's Guide to Prayer. Also recommended by jen.
• Rome Sweet Home: Our Journey to Catholicismby Scott Hahn. Recommended by Stitchwort and Ashley
• The Fulfillment of All Desire: A Guidebook for the Journey to God Based on the Wisdom of the Saints by Ralph Martin. Recommended by Stitchwort.

The following books are books I happen to own. They have not been recommended to me as part of this experience, but they are about religion of some sort and are already on my bookshelves. In random order as I found them.

• Rumspringa: To Be or Not to Be Amish by Tom Shachtman
• A History of God: The 4,000-Year Quest of Judaism, Christianity and Islam by Karen Armstrong
• The Battle for God by Karen Armstrong
• Through the Narrow Gate, Revised: A Memoir of Spiritual Discovery by Karen Armstrong
• Breathe: Creating Space For God in a Hectic Life by Keri Wyatt Kent
• Yearnings: Embracing the Sacred Messiness of Life by Irwin Kula
• The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris
• The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason by Sam Harris
• Dating Jesus: A Story of Fundamentalism, Feminism, and the American Girl by Susan Campbell
• Dharma Punx by Noah Levine